Contributed by Coach Cassandra Rae

A big challenge for families with children of different ages, likes, and dislikes is finding an activity that everyone will agree upon. But, we all know that spending time together and having fun is vital in creating a healthy family. So here are three simple ways to create your official Family Fun Time:

1. Clarify and set the Family Fun Time standard.
   How often is a reasonable amount to get together simply for the sake of having fun? Is it once a week? Or once a month? Decide on a frequency and ask everyone to make a commitment to Family Fun Time. In my family, our minimum standard (meaning more is okay!) is at least once every two weeks. Our daughter spends every other weekend with her dad so we usually plan a family activity on the weekend she is with us. It’s the perfect amount for us: not too much so that we don’t get overwhelmed and give up and yet, it’s enough so that we get some time together on a consistent basis.
2. Decide on the Family Fun Time activity together.
   Everyone needs to have the opportunity to be a part of the decision making process. One way to do this diplomatically is to allow each family member to take turns picking an activity. For example, this week Mom gets to choose and next week daughter Jane gets to choose. In fact, I like this idea so much I am going to implement this one at home.
3. Set a reasonable time limit where everyone makes a commitment to give it a try.
   Your fun activities do not need to be time consuming or expensive. In fact, if you only spend one happy hour of fun together, that’s a lot better than spending 3 miserable hours together. Keep in mind that you cannot force anyone to have fun. Set an intention to have fun no matter what anyone else says or does. If things get ugly, simply call it a day, congratulate yourself for giving it a go, and try again next time.  Each time you have Family Fun Time you will learn what works, what doesn’t, and how you can do it better next time.

People, we work so hard these days: parents at work and kids/teens at school. It is so easy to just work, work, work. But, balancing all of that out with just a little bit of fun can make an incredible difference. It can bring you closer together, relieve some stress, and provide an opportunity for you to get to know each other better. Yes, having Family Fun Time takes a bit of planning. But, your family is worth it. YOU are worth it. Now, go out there and have some fun!

Cassandra Rae (right) with her daughter on a kayaking trip

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Are your parents driving you crazy?
Do you feel pressured?
And misunderstood?
Would you like to change the relationship, but don’t know how?

Our parents are some of the most influential people in our lives no matter what age we are. And so many of us feel trapped in undesirable and outdated roles. We want to do things differently, but find ourselves going through the same old stuff over and over again. Well, there are things you can do right now to update and improve your relationship. If you are ready to take charge of where you are at in your relationship with your parents, then you absolutely must attend our next FREE Coaching Group:

Simple Ways to Manage Your Parents!
led by teen & family coach Cassandra Rae

Dedicate an hour to your sanity and join us to:

* Expose disempowering reactions
* Create new and empowering responses
* Brainstorm simple ways to put them into action
* Connect with others who share in your challenge

Over the phone on Tuesday, September 2, 2008 at 7pm Pacific Daylight Time {this call will be recorded}

In person on Monday, September 8, 2008 at 7pm in downtown Sunnyvale {space is limited to 6 participants and spots are reserved on a first-come, first-serve basis}

This group is for adults and teens who are:

* Ready to try out new ways to relate to move towards a better place
* Willing to receive uplifting support and acknowledgment
* Open to learning new perspectives and skills

Registration is Required
To register simply fill out the form below. Once you click on “Register” you will receive an email to verify your intent to participate. After you click through the link in the verification message, you will receive a confirmation email with all of the necessary details. We look forward to connecting with you!

Not interested in this FREE Coaching Group, but think you might be interested in future ones with different topics? Simply enter your email address to subscribe to our blog and receive new posts directly in your in-box:

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Before I discovered my passion for life coaching, I hated non-fiction and I wouldn’t have read a self-help book if you paid me! I mean, I knew I wasn’t happy and I knew I wanted more, but I wouldn’t even take the time to read the wisdom of others who had already been there and achieved what I wanted to achieve. In fact, one of the first self-help books I read was one I bought only because the author was a TV star and I went to see her live. I was hoping to get her autograph so I bought the book on the way into the event. I wasn’t even planning on reading it, but just a few weeks later I received the privilege of quitting my job and focusing full-time on my happiness, health, and well-being.

And there it was. The self-help book I wasn’t going to read. So in between bleaching the grout on the kitchen counters and painting the living room, I decided to take a break and read the introduction. That book was part of the beginning of a whole new life for me and I read it two times over front to back before moving on to the next. Since then, I have filled my library with over a hundred self-help books and for a couple of years I read nothing but non-fiction. Today, I simply don’t have the time to read as much as I did in the early days of my career as a Life Coach. But, I know how important it is to keep learning and tapping in to the wisdom of others. In fact, even though I only spend minutes a day reading I am currently reading 3 self-help books. Here’s how I make the time:

1. One book stays in my bathroom and I spend a few minutes each day being amazed and inspired by Barbara Sher’s straight-to-the-point tips in I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was. I already spend at least a few minutes a day in the bathroom, so I’m not even interrupting my schedule for this one! I don’t think Barbara Sher would be thrilled about being my bathroom reading material, but I know she would be ecstatic about being a part of my daily life and helping me succeed.

2. Another book stays on a table in my office and each time I go to the office before I even turn on my computer, I sit down, read 1 - 2 pages in Making a Change for Good: a guide to compassionate self-discipline and then meditate for 10 minutes. This book and practice has completely changed how I create new products, programs, and seminars. There have been times when I felt like I didn’t have the time for this, but I have learned that I am more productive and creative when I take just a few minutes tapping into my deepest self.

3. The last book stays in my purse and each day on my lunch hour I take a short walk to the plaza outside of my office, sit in the sun, and read a few pages. This practice is critical to my energy and creativity levels. I simply need to get outside, feel the sun on my skin, and relax so that when I return to my office I can work with a renewed spirit. It’s really easy for me to force myself to say inside all day and work straight through from 8am to 5pm. But, I’ve learned that my productivity level goes WAY down when I don’t nurture my spirit during my workday.

Well, there you have it, folks. This is how I spend just minutes a day dedicated to reading, learning, and growing spiritually, emotionally, and professionally. I’ve made a commitment to improving my life and I’ve incorporated it into my daily habits. If you are ready to do the same, then all you have to do is (1) choose to invest in yourself, (2) decide where in your schedule you have 10 minutes, and (3) place your book where it will remind you to follow through. Seriously, investing just a few minutes a day can increase the quality of your life and relationships by leaps and bounds. Are you ready to rock it out?!

Contributed by Coach Cassandra Rae, teen & family coach

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Is insecurity holding you back?
Would you like more courage?
Clarity?
And confidence?
Our family relationships dramatically affect our level of confidence and how willing we are to put ourselves out there. The truth is that most of us allow disempowering family beliefs and patterns to stop us from going after what we want - we simply don’t realize we’re doing it! If you are ready to shine a bright light of awareness on insecurity and stop allowing it to hold you back, then you absolutely must attend our next FREE Coaching Group:

Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence!
led by teen & family coach Cassandra Rae

Dedicate an hour to your success and join us to:

* Expose disempowering family beliefs & patterns
* Create new & empowering perspectives
* Brainstorm simple & practical ways to put them into action
* Connect with others who champion the same goal

Over the phone on Tuesday, August 5, 2008 at 12pm Pacific Daylight Time {this call will be recorded}

In person on Monday, August 4, 2008 at 7pm in downtown Sunnyvale {space is limited to 6 participants and spots are reserved on a first-come, first-serve basis}

This group is for adults and teens who are:

* Ready to move past the insecurity
* Willing to receive uplifting support and acknowledgment
* Open to learning new perspectives and skills

Registration is Simple
To register simply fill out the form below. Once you click on “Register” you will receive an email to verify your intent to participate. After you click through the link in the verification message, you will receive a confirmation email with all of the necessary details. We look forward to connecting with you!

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Here at Simple Ways Family Coaching all of our programs, services, and curriculum are based on the 7 Connection Principles. We want you to connect with your family in healthy, loving, and kind ways and we believe that these skills and tools will help you do just that. Are you ready to rock out your family life and relationships? Here is an overview of the 7 Connection Principles:

Carefree Caring

Carefree Caring is to whole-heartedly love yourself and others without the heaviness of judgment, fear, criticism, rigid rules, and pressure. It is to embrace every feeling, experience, and person as a messenger of valuable information to help guide you through your family life and relationships. When you harness the power of Carefree Caring, you can transform any challenge into an opportunity to learn, grow, and connect.

Uniquely Equal

Uniquely Equal is different people with equal value. It is to let go of the power struggles and to accept the importance of each person as an equal contributor to the wellbeing of the family. It is to allow different family members to have diverse perspectives, various talents, and different needs while still standing on common ground with a mutual goal. When you embrace being Uniquely Equal, everyone has the opportunity to contribute.

Compassionate Honesty

Compassionate Honesty is a way of being. It is truth with heart and you share your thoughts and feelings with the intention of understanding one another better. It is to let go of blaming and shaming while still honoring the reality of the situation and relationship. When you are Compassionately Honest, you can share anything with others – no matter how difficult the content.

Loving Boundaries

Loving Boundaries bring people closer together by creating a safe place to relate in. It is to embrace your personal standards, while letting go of expecting others to behave, think, and feel the same way you do. It is to accept people while clearly defining appropriate and inappropriate behavior. When you create Loving Boundaries, you are training your loved ones how to treat you and giving them an opportunity to connect with you. What a gift!

Freedom Structures

Freedom Structures are pre-determined agreements that clarify consequences and give everyone the autonomy to make their own decisions. They take the guesswork out of relationships and provide a way to hold each other accountable. With Freedom Structures in place, you can let go of trying to control other people’s actions and embrace your personal power instead.

Responsible Risk

Responsible Risk is growing individually and together. It is to strengthen your vulnerability muscles by giving yourself and others safe opportunities to connect at deeper and deeper levels. When you take Responsible Risk, you let go of the fear, share more of who you truly are, and trust yourself as a courageous, kind, and loving person.

Connected Independence

Connected Independence is a way of living. It is to stand on your own together and to foster a close connection while seeing each other as unique individuals. It is to maintain a healthy distance where you are close enough to connect and far enough away to see the difference between you and the actions and words of others.

Are you ready to put the 7 Connection Principles to work in your life?
Click here to register for a complimentary coaching session!

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Part of the reality of being alive and on this planet with other human beings is that sometimes we argue. It happens to everyone and the most common reactions are fight, flight, or freeze. However, none of these actually helps to resolve the argument. So what can you do instead? Well, here are 4 simple steps you can take the next time you find yourself smack dab in the middle of an argument:

Simple Step #1 Pause

Often times we rush, rush, rush to resolve a conflict even when there are heightened emotions and hurt feelings. We just aren’t comfortable with the messiness of our feelings and conflict in general. But, simply taking a break – even a 10 minute one –can help you to begin to feel more empowered and less upset because you are giving yourself space to reflect and process.

Simple Step #2 Consider

Next, consider your options. In the face of conflict, we tend to see only the extreme options – like I either stay married or I get a divorce. The truth is we have an unlimited amount of options and one of the most powerful things you can do is to take the time to consider what they are. Put everything aside for a moment. Leave out what you think others want you to do or what a “good” person would do and make a list of all your options. Include everything from the blatantly obvious to the outrageously ridiculous because this is about moving out of the rigid space of “I have to” into the liberating space of “I choose to!”

Simple Step #3 Choose

We all decide what to say and do. Period. No matter how pressured you feel to do what somebody else wants you to do, you always get to decide your path of action. Of course, there are consequences. But, that doesn’t take away your right to choose. Considering all of the options you just came up with, which one are you most inspired to follow through with? Is it in alignment with your values? And will it bring you closer to your desired outcome? Once you’ve answered these questions, decide what you are willing to commit to do next.

Simple Step #4 Move

Now, it is time to put your plan into action! You’ve thought about it, considered your options, made a powerful decision for yourself, and now you get to follow through.

Once you’ve gone through this process on your own, go through it again with the other person. Ask to consider your options together. Share your point of view and listen to the other person’s point of view as well. Remember that the calmer you are, the more likely you are to find a workable solution. If it escalates into an argument again, simply start the process over by taking another break. I know this is challenging work. Yet, it’s so much better to have a plan and to go through the process – no matter how many times – rather than losing the relationship entirely. So I encourage you to practice because the more you pause, consider, choose, and move, the better you can become at transforming arguments into opportunities to connect and grow together. Plus, the happier you can be!

Contributed by Coach Cassandra Rae, Teen & Family Coach

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Cheri Huber is one of my favorite authors because she’s all zen! She’s all about embracing your humanity and using it as one of your greatest assets. I find her perspective and exercises powerfully simple and simply powerful. This particular book includes a 30 day practice that I just completed today. Yay for me!

If you are ready to stop beating yourself up and start achieving your goals, then this is the book for you!

Recommended by Coach Cassandra Rae, a woman on a mission to empower teens & families!

Update: This book is so awesome that I’m doing the 30 day practice again while focusing on a new goal. I am ready to achieve all that I desire through compassionate awareness! Are you?

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Hi there ~

Welcome to the SWFC Blog! We are dedicated to bringing you articles, resources, book recommendations, and inspiration to help you rock out your family life and relationships! To get things started here is an article for all you parents with teens. I know you guys drive each other crazy, but I also know how much you love one another and this article is all about helping you connect.

Simply ~
Coach Cassandra Rae

3 Shockingly Simple Ways to Connect With Your Teen!
by Cassandra Rae

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